Friday, November 21, 2014


It was a dare, and I did not fail; I conquered.
AHA! Caught you in the middle of the act... did my readers seriously think I'd given up hope on this girl? Well guess what, I hugged her and made my feelings aware to her.

It all began with the last blog post I made... I had been crying my head over why I was so alone that I realised I'd have to do something to make money -- preferrably through the legal route. And so I came up with the idea for a new software system that I shall be designing once I finish writing this up. I can't spill details, but Google...  beware.

So what does software have to do with it? Well, as usual I went out some time later in search of inspiration and played the random train game where I would sit on random trains in hope of a worthy destination. And wow! I ran into my friends who were going to a University Lecture, so I joined them. During the Lecture there was a comment on the ineffectiveness of software and I must have talked out loud when another guy started a conversation with me on computing. Later, I found his approach to life was simply to embrace nervousness and fear. I went home...

A few days later, I went to poetry club, where the poet told me his deepest philosophy.. it sounded like this "I live for moments of awkwardness... that stuff feeds me". So then I realised, I'd have to stop caring about the present and not even think about not caring. BOOM!

I ended up playing 21 dares with a bunch of guys at my school and then the dare came: Hug a girl. At first I was hesitant. My best friend sat next to me and said I wasn't much of a man, and wouldn't do it. Most of them agreed, since, like me, they were all scared of speaking to girls.

I quickly touched my penis (just to remind myself of my manliness) punched my chest and stood up. They thought I was going to leave when I started to walk towards my crush. She was talking to her friend. Rather than wait or chicken out, I simply interrupted by saying "Hey". Her friend probably asked a question but I totally ignored her and fixed eyes with the girl. I sat down in front of her and stared  deeply into her pitch black eyes. For a moment, I was speechless yet nonetheless calm. It wasn't like all those times that I had been frozen. This time, I felt as though I had a higher sense of understanding of the world around me. I stated the facts "I just lost 21 Dares so I have to hug the most beautiful girl here..." (or something along those lines). She smiled, her pupils dilating and leaned in for the hug. I felt wanted. Those seconds were epic. Her hands around my back; mine around hers. I smelled her hair, but I leaned back. I could tell she was caught off guard and that surprised me -- all my life, I suspected that no girl would ever want me; that I wasn't nice to be with. Those things were disproved. I was about to talk to her and hopefully find out more about her when I realised that my friends must be staring at me and that my Statistics class was about to start. So I got up and left, while her friend turned back and started talking to her. I felt like a total boss. Walking out, I didn't desire her as much but rather loved her. Though strangely, I sensed a love for Maths burn even greater. It's as though I've figured out the first key to becoming normal. I know it's a little step, but I ensure you that it will add up :D

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