An epic exam

First Maths exam out of the motherfucking way!

Excuse the unprecedented swearing, but I just saw this:

My favourite quote being "right eye... like a subsequent motherfucker"

How do I think the maths exam went?

Like this:

I am the biggest bastard on this planet. Here's why:

The woman at the front of my penis told us to start.

A few guys hyperventilated.

Some girls synchronised their pen clicks amongst other things.

But no matter where you looked, maths papers were being torn to shreds by thinking minds...

Unless of course you look at the desk that was mine.

I waited for two minutes.

The invigilators were shocked.

"Is he one of the dumb ones?" They must have thought,

unaware of my absolute genius.

As slow as Barack Obama's presidential speech, I opened the paper.

Just by looking at it, the question solved itself.

My Wizard Powers exploded, causing the guy next to me to orgasm in agony.

That dimwit struggled with the first part of the first question, while I zoomed to the end of the paper.

Without mercy, I closed it and sat there for ten minutes expecting the exam to end...

Only to realise that I had finished a ninety minute paper in sixteen sexy seconds minutes.

Just to make sure, I looked over it to find any errors.

WHAT?!

An error!!!

What do we do?

I came out like a Boss.

Whilst the lower classes discussed their struggles, I walked out knowing I may have just bagged a 100%

That is one step closer to Cambridge.

On the Bus, one of my arch enemies friends made me question something though.

Is Cambridge fun?

I don't know.

I know UCL is fun.

Hmm... I'd love to watch a rap battle between Cambridge and UCL now,
 so I'll put up the closest thing to it in existence.

*Blog post terminated as I went off to do other stuff... like try to come up with a superhero story*

7 deadly distractions for every guy

There are a seven deadly distractions all teenage boys face.

All of them involve the internet in one way or another.

Distraction #1 Girls

(sorry gay guys... comment below to petition against me)

Girls are, of course, the biggest distraction invented by God.

There are girls in school, in the family, at the bus stop, in music videos, the movies and, sadly... porn

So of course it's no surprise that most guys wank off at least once a day
...Any subject involving a Laptop is torture for them...

Then there are those of us who can afford not to fap.

I do Karate way too often to masturbate. And besides, I'm more of an emotional person.

I've considered it before, but I've been pretty deprived when I did. So I just ended up falling asleep... or looking at music videos and trolling twitter.

Distraction # 2 Games

Mindcraft players, piss off. Games ruin people. They turn you into this possibly pedophilic individual who should have never been born:

But mostly, you just end up becoming deprived, and addicted.
So what games have I been addicted to?
Here are some links you should NOT click on (hehehe... reverse psychology)

Bubble Trouble -- A game of skill || Deprivation factor: 100%
Grepolis -- A game of strategy || Deprivation factor: 80%
Clash Of Clans -- A game of awesomeness || Deprivation factor: 40%
Tribal Wars -- A game I have long deserted || Deprivation factor: 200%

Grepolis stole two years of my life. I became an infamous member of the world I played in.
I was ShinPads the great, leader of an alliance who trolled everyone... by becoming a double agent for the top two alliances. I was finally eliminated by myself when I realised GCSEs were upon me.

Distraction #3 Blogging

Blogging is addictive...

oh crap. See you around.

*Blog post terminated when Ramin realised he hadn't done his homework for 12 weeks in a row*

Life during A-Levels

You can guess where I live. It's staring you right in the face. Land of the BBC, Queen, and UKIP

Great fucking Britain

 And like all Brits, my first year A Level exams are coming up next week.

Maths, Further Maths, Physics, Computer Science.

You read right.

Maths. Further Maths. Physics. Computer Science.

But why dude???

I should have become a Taxi Driver... I always wanted to have my own Taxi.

Instead I am taking the equivalent of kindergarten in China.

And this guy just wants me to commit suicide:

* This blog post was terminated as Ramin committed suicide watching the above video *

Keep going mate

It is so difficult to keep going. With what I hear you ask?

Answer: Everything.

I don't want to perform poetry in front of an audience. I don't want to go to flipping Africa. I don't want to study Mathematics, nor sit exams, nor meditate or empty my mind. And honestly, I'm doubting whether that girl would even like me as a human.

But you know what? Whenever I think of things such as these, I tell myself:

I must have wanted to do it sometime ago. And obviously, fear supersedes regrets

Humans are wave functions. They change over time. Here I go again, using 'they' instead of 'we'... Anyway, we change over time. After all, we can't always be at our best. But it is up to us to eradicate any longings for safety. And that's exactly what I will do. Saying yes to things as though I'm in a movie isn't supposed to be a joke. It's meant to eliminate boundaries.

Some beggar asked me for change. I ignored like the rest and walked into Tesco. Suddenly, I halted myself -- remembering my covenant with myself. All change that I had left, I gave to him (after having a tough time running after him).

Teacher asked the hall whether they knew how to solve the equation on the board. I was confident... too confident and I tripped up. Made a mistake. But I didn't care. Usually I'm the silent one with the answers. It felt awesome being on the other side,

Work experience opportunity. My last one went horribly, I finished one week's worth of accounting in two days. This time, I still said yes.

I wonder what else will hit me. But who cares? Just say yes. It's not easy. But I'll continue doing so.

Meanwhile, Takeo (he's cool with me naming him now) has made me watch Gotham. And wow! What an ingenious script that must have been to devise.

Cool Introverts

Isn't it kind of obvious that introverts make the best leaders? You might think I'm the complete opposite of an introvert if you meet me on the internet, but then again... you met me on the internet!

No I'm not wearing a mask. Tin foil hats are pretty different.

Psychologists would call me a sociopath. It's pretty easy for me to pretend to be someone I'm not. Heck, I started towards a qualification in youth work last week! I was praised for being confident, well thought and social. Trouble is, once I walked out of the social situation I felt so tried I might as well have been Frankenstein's monster before conception.

I even managed to start talking to a bunch of girls on the train taking centre stage! I was itching under my sweater but I didn't show it... not one bit. Yet every step of the way I thought to myself "I can't do this... this is not right" and I even left the train three stations earlier than intended just to get out of there.  Seriously, sometimes I ask myself:

      "Am I even made for this?"

In those moments I feel such sadness, I cannot possibly attempt to express it. I picture the world as I grow old and lonely and look back thinking of what I could have become. Of a future that I could have had; a life I never had.

And then I look at my current state. I've noticed how slow my progress has been. I have a tendency to jump from place to place.

First Maths. Then Physics. Then Computers. Then Databases. Then Philosophy. Then back to Maths. Then Art. And to the start! Then Poetry.... and then... youth work in Africa???

I don't even know how I ended up here man. I found out that I failed my mechanics end of week exam (probably because I bunked lesson to go to Central London). I'm such a son of a gun, always being shot around the place. So I say enough.

It's  YES MAN TIME!!! 

This time though I won't mention it to anyone I meet to keep the experiment a fair test :D

The Rules

1) Everything gets a YES unless if it goes against my faith (e.g. Bacon, Beer, and Murder)

2) Responses must be immediate and without hesitation

3) No social fears. Doesn't fucking matter if there are people walking in my direction. I will not tilt         my eye sight.

4) Stop once satisfied.

And my home goals are: Revise, revise, L'chaim! 

P.S. While I was writing this, my sort of friend Takeo put an epic picture on Twitter of a tree covered in LEDs!!! TakeoSamata

Web life goes on

Websites can have brains... but not like this!!!

For all of you who have been mocking my social inability so far... get lost! I'm about to go full on nerd.

Google Drive can be used to host nice websites that have no brain. I built one such website... until I realised that having a brain was absolutely necessary! Still, I thought hosting the prototype would be a cool idea and you can visit the 

Quote Machine <<here.

In the future, I will definitely try back-end developing it using Google App Engine and I have been taking this nice course to learn exactly how to (though believe me, it has been a difficult ride so far).

A new perspective

I see this as the end to my Blog. The goal has been achieved. I'm pretty social now, but I must admit that doing this has ruined my intelligence. Today, upon receiving my A-Level Mock results, I found out that I received a meagre 86%. I must fix this problem, and once again return to my studies in hope of being accepted by Cambridge University.

Furthermore, I have discovered an old book on the subject of "Hermetics" in a dusted corner of a Book shop in London... it looks as though it is a book on the subject of Magic so that might turn out to be interesting...

With both these things in mind, and a content with my previous life... I shall return to the den of Geekdom.

:D